remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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