I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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