I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
