I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
