Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
