That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
