She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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