Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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