He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need to calm my uterus...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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