My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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