the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
