She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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