i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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