I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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