I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
