We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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