Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
