Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
