They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
