I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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