Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
