so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
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First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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