you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
