He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
