Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
