I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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