I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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