Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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