After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
