Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
