Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
