shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
