I want to make a zoo with you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
