dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
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I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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