I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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