someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
