There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
