we have officially lost it.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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