Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
