i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
