Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
