Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
