my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
