what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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