i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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