So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
