check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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