Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
