everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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