I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
