I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize