i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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