im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Pants are for mortals
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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