I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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