It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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