I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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