it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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