Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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