Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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