now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
