I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
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no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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