so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
