i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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