that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
