I swear she didn't look like that last week.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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