Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
